Facepalm

Boris Johnson. 
What can one say about Boris Johnson? A man whose voice harks back to aristocracy gone by. A man whose hair defies the laws of gardening. A man who has just been re-elected as Mayor of London.


This man is quite possibly the best thing in British politics. His inane ramblings about welfare and all the other things that politicians pretend to care about make an otherwise serious news program into an episode of Have I Got News For You. He rides around everywhere on a bicycle, looking like an overlarge, suit-wearing toddler. He fell over in a river once. He is just the best person.


And from that to Facebook. Yes, I know it's not even linked in the slightest at all ever. I just felt like I had to express my sincere adoration for this most bumbling and brilliant of men, okay? Deal with it. Haters gonn' hate.


Aaaaaanyway... Facebook. It's a small social networking site, not too many members, you probably haven't heard of it. YES OF COURSE I AM JOKING EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER LIVED HAS HEARD OF FACEBOOK. And that is part of the problem. It has the power to make outcasts of the people who have not entered this universe. On the other hand, there are people who spend so much time on Facebook that they become outcasts in the real world. You know, the types of people that are never off Farmville and alienate their friends with requests for ingredients in Café World? 


Then there are the ones who LITERALLY POST ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THEIR DAY. "omg such a bad day today :'( </3" Yeah? Well, isn't that just great? I was going to have a nice relaxing evening, but now I have to worry about how upset you are over some trivial little piece of shit.


There are also, of course, the ones that use Facebook to boost their egos. Such posts as "Let's see how many likes we can get for this baby with cancer :(" infuriate me to such a point where I have to walk away and shout at an inanimate object for a while. Like a bin. It is obvious that the people who post these specks of annoying pseudo-sympathy are in it purely for the 3,000 or so people that will like their photo. And then they comment underneath saying "Subscribe to me here! I'll make you a fansign :D" First of all, what the fuck is a 'fansign'? And secondly, why would I want to subscribe to a page full of this utter crap, you braindead, egotistical twat?


Attention-seekers, too, flood the ranks of this army of idiots. "Oh god, my face looks so ugly in this pic..." Then why upload it? Why put up a picture of yourself that clearly doesn't meet up to your personal standards of how you want to look? 
Oh yeah, because of the flood of comments that follows. 
"So beautiful! :D" 
"You look so good in this <3" 
"Hey gorgeous! ;)"
Such people make me want to run over such people with a truck.


Of course, there are many, many decent, lovely, caring, friendly, funny, brilliant, beautiful people on Facebook. They are just overshadowed by the dickheads. And it seems like these barnacles on the face of Facebook are putting people off altogether.


You know it's bad when people are returning to Myspace.